


You Fill My Heart with Gladness, Take Away all My Sadness

by ifwallscouldspeak



Category: Gilmore Girls
Genre: Established Relationship, F/F, Femslash February, Late in Life Lesbianism, Older Women in Love!!!!!, POV Multiple, POWER LESBIANS Y'ALL, Post-Gilmore Girls: A Year In The Life, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-08
Updated: 2018-02-08
Packaged: 2019-03-12 06:14:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13541436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ifwallscouldspeak/pseuds/ifwallscouldspeak
Summary: It all began when they started meeting at auction houses.(A 5+1 type story about Mrs. Kim and Emily Gilmore dating. Inspired by the prompt, “I saved you a seat.”)





	You Fill My Heart with Gladness, Take Away all My Sadness

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I just gotta say this: 
> 
> Mrs. Kim is a big ole LESBIAN and I will take this headcanon to my grave, y’all. TO. MY. GRAVE. And Emily is inspired by a post (I’m so sorry I can’t remember the OP!) where Emily comes out by saying something like, “It’s called late in life lesbianism, Lorelai.” 
> 
> Also fuck the Revival and fuck the fact that the show never gave Mrs. Kim a first name. 
> 
> Goodnight and I hope you enjoyed this TEDTalk. 
> 
> This is dedicated to faeriviera and waywardmarbles on Tumblr who didn’t ask for this but seemed intrigued enough by that one ranting post I made about Mrs. Kim when rewatching the series. 
> 
> Title is from “Have I Told You Lately That I Love You” by Rod Stewart.
> 
> Written for my personal [Femslash February](http://lo-cotidiano.tumblr.com/tagged/jennifer+does+femslash+february) challenge :)

+++

 

**One**

“I think my mom is dating your grandmother.”

Rory sits straight up in bed, Jess’s arm sliding off of her torso and thudding into her lap. He groans and rolls over, shoving his face into his pillow. But Rory can only focus on one thing at a time, and Lane’s voice on the other end of her phone is taking priority right now.

For obvious reasons.

“What?” she almost screeches.

Lane’s speaking a mile a minute on the other end of the phone; luckily Rory’s used to listening fast and thinking even faster, having grown up with Lorelai. But it’s too early right now and she has no idea what the hell Lane is saying, it’s all so bizarre. Rory rubs at her forehead with her free hand as Lane jumps around, her speech growing more panicked as she does. Rory blearily hears Zach in the background - _babe, you’ve gotta calm down, all right, the kids can like, sense when you’re wigging out_ \- but Lane keeps talking, ignoring the advice.

“ - Makes so much sense, now. You know what she told me on my wedding night? That she only had sex once in her life and if I was lucky, I would get pregnant on my first time, too! She called it ‘engaging in terrible things,’ or something, and you know how she never talks about my father and she really seems to hate all men, well here’s why! My mother is big old lesbian!”

“Lane,” Rory’s tries to interrupt her. “Lane, how do you know that they’re - dating?”

“I saw them kissing!” Lane shouts. “Kissing, Rory, not on the cheek like they were Italian or something but full-blown, tongue in mouth like two horny teenagers, right there, in front of the 1773 oak liseuse!”

Rory is so surprised that all she can ask is, “What’s a liseuse?”

“It’s a type of desk,” Jess mumbles. “Jesus, Gilmore, what kinda writer are you?”

“Oh my God,” Rory says, and now, the information is dawning on her. “Oh my God!”

“Oh my God!” Lane screeches.

“My grandmother! And your mom!” Rory can’t help but shout. “Oh my God!”

“Tongue, Rory. There was tongue.”

 

**Two**

“I’m sorry, what and who?” Lorelai squints.

Her daughter paces around the living room, hair an absolute wreck and her shirt on backwards. Lorelai wonders, not for the first time, what the heck is wrong with her kid. Don’t get her wrong, she loves Rory with her entire heart and soul but sometimes - especially when she hasn’t slept for days on end and has been mainlining coffee because she has a deadline coming up - she gets weird. Really weird.

“Your mother! My grandmother! And Lane’s mother!” Rory rants. “I - how!”

“Well, kid, when two mommy birds love each other very much -”

“Don’t make jokes at a time like this!”

“I’m sorry!” Lorelai throws her hands up. “I just don’t know what else to do at a time like this! You know I use humor as a defensive mechanism!”

Rory stops pacing for a moment. Paul Anka’s ears perk up from his spot on the couch next to Lorelai. Lorelai drops her hand onto his head, scratching him behind the ears. She wants to tell him that he’s lucky to not be a human and not have to deal with the insanity that comes with it most of the time. Insanity such as finding out your mother is dating your daughter’s best friend’s mother.

Except... maybe it isn’t so insane.

“This is unbelievable, right?” Rory asks. “We’ve fallen into the Twilight Zone. Or Black Mirror. Maybe some secret government agency implanted chips in their brains.”

Lorelai shrugs. “I don’t know, kid.”

“What?” Rory turns on her heel, staring at her mother with wide eyes.

“Is it really that weird?” Lorelai asks. “I mean - they’re both so repressed most of the time, you know, Mrs. Kim with her super strict Christianity stuff and Mom with her… everything stuff. I think it would make sense, maybe, if they were both closeted -”

“Why aren’t you freaking out more?” Rory asks. “Lane and I definitely freaked out. And you’re all… I don’t know.”

“I mean, am I surprised that my mom has apparently discovered late in life lesbianism? Yes. Does it bother me? No,” Lorelai says honestly. “I’m actually glad that she’s found someone. Even if it is a woman. And it is Mrs. Kim.”

Rory bites her lip for a moment, and then drops onto the floor, crossing her legs. “Hmm.”

“Hmm?”

“You’re right,” Rory says. “It’s just… weird.”

“Yeah.”

“And scary,” Rory admits. “Mostly because the two of them? Together?”

“I know,” Lorelai says. “It’s like the backstory of a B-grade horror movie about an villainous couple that takes over the world.”

 

**Three**

It’s almost ironic, what she’s doing now.

Lane used to spend so much of her time sneaking into her house as a teenager and hiding things in her room that she never thought she’d be trying to sneak into her house as an adult to find the things that her mother has been hiding.

She peers around the corner, where Mama is speaking to a new customer about a stained glass panel from an old church in Hartford. As usual, the customer looks terrified and her mother is gloriously in her element. Lane knows the poor guy’s gonna end up paying double than what the panel is worth. It would almost make her laugh, the way her mother is so good at bossing people around and getting them to pay exactly what she wants.

Except it also reminds her of that one time that Emily Gilmore came into the shop, all those years ago. And how she and Mama had really gotten into it over - what even was it? A glass doorknob? An original lampshade? - While they were haggling. Looking back now, Lane wonders if all of that was really just sexual tension, leading up to… what? Them being girlfriends? Casually dating? Or - good God - fuck buddies?

Lane loves her mother dearly and she wants her to be happy. She really does. And as surprising as it originally was to come home and see Emily’s tongue down Mama’s throat, she’s actually not upset about it. Lane thinks it’s actually kind of cute and sweet; she also agrees with Zach that her mother is much more rock n’ roll than previously imagined.

She just seriously wishes that Mama had said something to her, first. Actually, she wishes that Mama will say anything to her about it. Each time Lane has gently tried to broach the topic - _Mama, are you dating anyone?_ Or _you know Mama, we just bought Carol on DVD, do you want to come over and watch it?_ Or even _isn’t it great that Caitlyn Jenner is living her truth after decades of hiding, Mama? Do you know anyone like that?_ \- She’d gotten no useful responses - _Dating? Why are you asking about me dating? Are the kids dating now?_ And _No thank you, I will wait until Kirk screens it at the movie theater_ and _who is Caitlyn Jenner? Was she the tall blonde who wanted a discount because of a tiny chip in the ottoman last week?_

So here she is, her mother’s phone in hand, passcode already punched in. And Lane kind of hates herself for this. It’s the highest form of disrespect and such an invasion of privacy. She always told herself she’d never be the type of mother who would do this to her children. She just never thought she’d be the type of child who would do this to her mother.

“Ugh,” she presses enter and scrolls through her mother’s text messages.

 

**Four**

“You should have seen the texts, Lorelai,” Lane says as she rounds the counter and pours her a cup of coffee. “There was talk of heavy petting and ‘my darling’ and even ‘I’ll save you a seat!’”

Lorelai chokes on the chocolate glazed donut she’s been eating. “I’ll save you a seat? Is that a euphemism for something? Like hey, wanna come sit on my face?”

Across the counter, Luke rolls his eyes. He loves Lorelai, so much. And he knows that part of that is because she’s everything he never could be himself. She’s strength and kindness and goofiness and comfort and vibrancy. But she’s also completely ridiculous about eight-five percent of the time. He knows that of course she loves him back; but as she winks at him, he wonders how much of that love is just love of poking fun at him.

“I have no idea!” Lane says, much too seriously. 

A customer has been trying to flag her down for a few minutes now - he looks like the type who’s gonna complain about there not being enough spinach or there being too many mushrooms or both in his omelet - but Lane ignores him in favor of sitting down on a stool next to Lorelai. Luke glares at the customer until he stops waving his hand around. He smiles then, idly wiping down the counter and turning back into the conversation before him.

“Do you think my mom’s your mom’s sugar mama?” Lorelai is asking.

“Okay, enough,” Luke says. “Just let them do their own thing and -”

“Maybe,” Lane cuts him off, ominously. “A lot of the their texts do have to do with going to the auction house.”

Luke tries again. “Oh, for the love of -”

“As a matter of fact, they’re supposed to be meeting there tomorrow! At three!” Lane says.

“We have to go!” Lorelai nods her head swiftly. “We can confront them there and -”

“Hey, whatever your mothers do is their own business,” Luke says. “And you always hate it when Emily butts into -”

“Yes!” Lane says. “Because I haven’t gotten anything out of my mother. And I need to know -”

“Isn’t them making out confirmation enough?” Luke mutters.

“I agree. Emily Gilmore is like a brick wall sometimes. She just waves her hand and calls me ridiculous and refuses to answer any of my questions,” Lorelai says.

Lane nods. “So, it’s agreed. We’ll confront them tomorrow and find out if we’re about to be stepsisters or not,” Lane nods.

“Does this mean you’re Rory’s aunt, technically?” Lorelai muses.

Luke tosses his hands in the air. “Oh for the love of God!”

 

**Five**

Emily has decided that this is it, this is the final straw. She is going to kill her daughter.

“Lorelai Gilmore,” she hisses, dragging her away by the elbow, “What in God’s name do you think you’re doing?”

She has no idea what Lorelai or Esther’s daughter are doing at here - or doing at an auction house at all, and in jeans, no less - but they’ve already made quite the disturbance. Coming in oversized sunglasses, trying to hide down the row from them and pointing their phones at them like she and Esther were on - what was that show Rory tried to get her to watch, once? TMF? ZMT? - Some celebrity paparazzi news channel. It had taken Emily all of two seconds before she realized exactly who was causing such a ruckus.

“Nothing,” Lorelai says defensively, just as she always does.

“Lorelai,” Emily says warningly.

Over her daughter’s shoulder, she sees Esther snapping at Lane in Korean. Lane at least has the decency to look cowed, Emily thinks. Lorelai is still standing there as if she’s done absolutely nothing wrong. And this is of course all happening while the auction has started, already. If Emily misses the bidding on the eighteenth century brass frames…

“Okay, we were spying on you!” Lorelai bursts out.

“Spying on me?”

“Not just on you, on the plural you,” Lorelai says. “You and Mrs. Kim.”

“Me and Esther?” Emily’s eyebrows rise. “But why?”

“Well, you’re - wait a minute, did you just call her Esther?” Lorelai blinks at her rapidly.

“Well, yes,” Emily’s frustrating grows. “What else am I supposed to call my _inamorata_?”

“Your - Mom!”

Emily lifts her chin ever so slightly, adopting the coolest tone she knows how to. But inside, she’s absolutely cackling with humor. Because it’s not often she sees her daughter look so shocked, not having anything clever to say back. And of course she loves Lorelai - that is her flesh and blood, her flaws and her accomplishments made physical - but it’s so much fun to tease, every now and again.

Ever since she and Esther have started their relationship, Emily’s discovered again just how much she enjoys teasing. How much she enjoys laughing, holding someone else’s hand, kissing someone else’s lips. She misses Richard, of course; but she thinks that he would approve whole-heartedly of Esther, too.

“If you wanted to know if Esther and I were dating, all you had to do was ask, Lorelai,” Emily says smugly.

“Fine!” Lorelai shoots her a disgruntled look. “Mom. Are you and Esther Kim dating?”

 

**Plus One**

“I have never seen Lane so crazed before,” Esther shakes her head fondly.

She peers at Emily over her reading glasses, placing her Bible facedown on her lap. The soft glow of the besides lamp slashes yellow all over Emily’s face and hair. Esther has never seen anyone quite so beautiful in a nighttime glow, before. When Emily smiles back at her, it’s soft and amused. It suits her face well, Esther thinks. Just as being here, in Esther’s bed with a pair of her silk pajamas on suits her, too.

Sometimes she still can’t believe how lucky she is, to have found Emily.

No, to have found herself.

After all of these years, it’s like coming home.

And to think, it all began when they started meeting at auction houses. She remembers vividly the first time it happened, six months ago. Emily practically ran in, looking frazzled. Before Esther knew what she was doing, she had waved her hand slightly. _You’re Lorelai’s mother. Come, sit next to me._ They had laughed - quite inappropriately - throughout the auction and had gotten tea afterwards. It was the first of many, many dates.

“I thought Lorelai was going to burst a blood vessel,” Emily laughs.

“Tell me again what you said to her,” Esther grins.

“‘I would hardly shove my tongue down the throat of someone I wasn’t dating,’” Emily repeats.

“Oh,” Esther swats at her playfully. “You’re so bad.”

When Emily leans over to kiss her softly, the smile is still on her lips.

 

+++


End file.
